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| Photo credit: jef safi \ 'pictosophizing / Foter.com / CC BY-NC-ND |
If you are like me, many
times you've said things you wish you could take back. But as we all know, once it’s
been said…
I’ve been on both the giving and the
receiving end of hurtful words…Over time, some people forgive and forget,
but there are those who will hardly ever forget and when you least expect it, remind you of something you did in the past. As Joyce Meyer has said, “The power of life and death are in the
tongue”, and this is so true. We can
either build someone up with our words, or we can tear them down.
God’s Word says in James 3:8-10
(Amplified), “But the human
tongue can be tamed by no man. It is a restless (undisciplined, irreconcilable)
evil, full of deadly poison. With it we bless the Lord and Father, and
with it we curse men who were made in God’s likeness! Out of the same
mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to
be so.”
The next time you have the urge to “speak
your mind”, STOP and THINK first. Ask yourself these questions before you
speak: “Is this something that will help
or hurt the other person? Will my words benefit them in a positive way? Is this something I
want to say in order to ease my mind,
to make me feel better?” I can tell
you from my own experience, it may make you feel better initially to speak your mind, but after the initial good feeling passes and the reality of what you just said sets in,
along with that sinking feeling in your gut...it goes something like
this, “OH, I really shouldn’t have
said that!”
Now there are definitely situations that need to be talked about and dealt with, and
times when it would be detrimental to “hold your tongue”, but once you’ve
discussed a situation and found some type of resolution to it, don’t continue to bring it up. I used to
do this to the point of continual conflict, and I can tell you, it wasn’t worth
all the pain, sleepless nights, and gut-wrenching stress that came with it!
Today, I try to stop and think before I
speak (I call it taking a Time Out) and have avoided many “unnecessary”
conflicts in the process. Do I still slip up? Of course! But I can tell you the
slip ups are getting less and less. The more we speak positive words into others
lives, the more joy and peace we will find in those relationships and in our
own lives. And, I’m even finding those positive words spoken to others starting to come
back full circle!
So, the next time you want to tell
someone “exactly what you think of them” or bring up “all of their past faults
and failures”:
S - Step away from the situation T - (take) Time
T - Think about what just happened H - (is it) Helpful
O - (am I) Overreacting? I - (is it) Important
P - Pray about it N - (is it) Necessary
K - (is it) Kind
…THEN make a decision about how to proceed...
S - Step away from the situation T - (take) Time
T - Think about what just happened H - (is it) Helpful
O - (am I) Overreacting? I - (is it) Important
P - Pray about it N - (is it) Necessary
K - (is it) Kind
…THEN make a decision about how to proceed...
CHER-Life and live WELL \o/
Cheryll