HOW TO SET UP A SIMPLE HORIZONTAL NAVIGATION BAR

For those of you who are novices at putting together a Blog site (like me :), I wanted to provide you with a very helpful site I found that provides 4 videos that will walk you step by step through the process of making a simple horizontal navigation bar. It also provides information on how to link a page to it. I searched for quite a while to find something like this! I hope you find it as helpful as I did!

  
Part I: thepixelboutique

Part II: thepixelboutique

6 Ways to EMBRACE Being SINGLE

Today I can finally say “I will embrace my time of singleness!” Praise God! I have realized this is a time in my life that I cannot get back and God wants to use this time to change and mold me into the person I was created to be! Whenever I was in a relationship with someone, I lost myself as a person, because I never took the time to find out who I was/am and I never took the time to heal from past hurts and broken trusts.

We need to be a whole person before we can be in a healthy relationship. We need to ask ourselves, “Who am I? What do I like? What don’t I like? What is my purpose? What are my boundaries?" If we don’t know who we really are, we can easily lose ourselves in a relationship. This is what has happened to me time and time again. I never felt “complete” and thought only by being in a relationship or married I would feel “complete”. But the fact is, I was never quite “good” enough and never quite measured up to what the man in my life expected of me, leaving me feeling empty. The truth is, the reason I felt empty was because I wasn’t allowing God to fill my empty space! My value as a person should never come from another person, but from who God says I am and this can only happen by spending time with Him in His Word every single day. 

Have you ever really noticed that many people who are married want to be single, and many who are single, want to be married? If so many people wanted to be married, the divorce rate wouldn’t be so high (although there is more to it than that - See my post on “Unconditional Love”). Marriage will never fill that “empty space” in your heart, only God will. In fact, the Bible tells us in 1 Corinthians 7:28 “those who marry will face many troubles in this life”. The apostle Paul actually said it is better to remain single! Those who are single have more time to devote to the things of God. 

I have found that I cannot be the marriage partner God wants me to be until He works some things out of me. I also need to find out who I am, what I like, what I don’t like, where my boundaries are, what it really means to be a “Christian” and follow Jesus. What it really means for me to “Take up my cross and follow Him”. I don’t want to settle for any less than God has planned for my life and until I get to know who I am in Him, not who I am in another man, I am settling. One day I would like to be married but it is no longer my focus. IF it is in God’s plan for my life, it will happen in His timing. For now, I will embrace the fact that I am single, and actually learn to enjoy it! 

So, for those of you have not quite gotten to the point I have, don’t worry, you will get there too! But you do have to make a conscious decision that you will allow yourself to embrace your singleness right now, right where you are, this very day!

HOW CAN YOU START EMBRACING Your SINGLENESS? Here are 6 Suggestions:

1.  Take out a piece of paper and write down what you like about yourself and what you don’t like about yourself. Be brutally honest and write down everything you can think of. Then pray over these things and ask God show you the areas you need to change. Ask him to help you change those areas, because we cannot change on our own, I know, I’ve tried. You may even find that some of the things you don’t like about yourself, God loves about you! You may have come to believe some of the lies others have told you about yourself, so ask God to reveal that to you too. Get to know who you are.

• The pruning process is painful, but necessary. It’s the only way to get rid of the things we don’t need in our lives and bear the good fruit God has for us (John 15:1-2).

2.  Take time to set up healthy boundaries in your own life. Many people do not have boundaries set up in their lives, and that is part of our problem today. Boundaries are there to help us avoid situations that will lead to regret. Boundaries should be set up before you even encounter situations so you are prepared to handle them when they arise. {Here is a link to a DVD about how and why you should set up boundaries in your life: GUARDRAILS AVOIDING REGRETS IN YOUR LIFE}.

• Boundaries are set up to protect you, not to restrict you.

 3.  Every day focus on something you are thankful for. Even if you can only think of one thing that day, write it down! I am just finishing something called the “30 days of praise”. Each day I take the time to purposefully think about something I am thankful for and write it down. I’ve even shared it with my friends and family and have tried to get them on board! The more I do this, the more I find I am thankful for. 

• When we take our focus off of what we don’t have and put it on what we do have, it changes our whole perspective on where we are right now.

4.  Branch out and start forming new, healthy friendships with people of the same sex and people who believe in God and are trying to live their lives according to His Word. At this time in your life, it is important to continue to focus on your growth and change. If you get involved in new friendships of the opposite sex, it could potentially open up doors for you to start relying on another man or woman, when right now what you need is to remain in your singleness. I know this doesn’t happen in all cases, but when you are lonely and pouring out your heart to someone of the opposite sex, it can create an emotional bond that could send you on a detour, slowing your progress…Right now you need to focus on you! Having other positive people in your life is so important. They will lift you up, listen when you need an ear, and even point out some of the lies you’ve come to believe about yourself with God’s truth.

• It is important to surround yourself with people who are trying to live the way you want to live. If you are seeking to live a life after God’s own heart, then be sure to surround yourself with others who are seeking to do the same. Otherwise, it will cause you more internal conflict and unnecessary struggles as you are working on developing your values and beliefs.  

5.  Find a good Bible-based church.  Although it is most important to study God’s Word on your own, it is also important to become a part of a church body. As you continue to grow, branch out and become involved in areas in the church where there is a need. God’s Word tells us we should not forsake the assembling together (Hebrews 10:25).

• You will feel better when you take your focus off of yourself and put it on others who have a need. Joyce Meyer has said when you are feeling down and depressed, think about what you are thinking about. Most times it is because we are thinking about ourselves.  

6.  Allow God to use your situation to help other men/women who are in similar situations. Share with others how He has helped you in your time of need. There are so many hurting people in the world today who need to know there is “hope”. I’ve found that we can still step out and help others even while we are still hurting. Use this time of singleness not only to heal yourself, but to help others in the process.

•  Helping others can become a part of your own healing process.

It's YOUR time to BLOOM!

 

BLACK FRIDAY

A friend of mine posted a video today of a scene that took place on "Black Friday". It was so disturbing to me, that I needed to “talk” about it and share it with you. After watching it, I thought about how this must make God feel, watching us behave in such a selfish manner. As I tried to think back over the years, I started to wonder when the meaning of the holiday season changed from one that was spent with loved ones, giving of ourselves to others, and thanking God for our blessings, to a season filled with selfishness, anger, and “shopping for the best deals?” We need to remember that the stores are not doing this out of love for us or for our well-being, but for their bottom dollar.

Another questions I had was just how much time and energy do people spend planning for “Black Friday” and now “Grey Thursday”? Do we spend this much time and energy planning for our eternity (which could happen at any moment)? 

Matthew 24:42-44, “Therefore keep watch, because you do not know on what day your Lord will come…So you also must be ready, because the Son of Man will come at an hour when you do not expect him.”

Have you ever heard the saying, “You never see a hearse pulling a U-Haul?” All of these material things that we feel we, “have to have,” are things we can’t take with us when we go. Eventually, these material items will break, wear out, go out of style, or we will become bored with them, and they will sit somewhere collecting dust.

Matthew 6:19, “Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal.”

There is nothing wrong with looking for deals, buying on sale, or buying gifts for someone you love (in fact, I love a great deal!), but once we cross the line and this becomes our focus, they have become the “idols” in our lives. God tells us in Matthew 6:24 that we cannot serve both God and mammon (deceitful riches, money, possessions, or whatever is trusted in). The 2012 holiday season that is upon us should not be a season filled with stress and anxiety, but a time to reflect on what Jesus did for us, a time to show His love to others, because LOVE is the most important thing! Some of my favorite gifts are the ones that were handmade by my children. 

Today (Saturday), I was talking to the cashier after picking up a few items for one of my final school projects due this week. As we were talking, she told me that she had to work on "Grey Thursday" because their store was open and she couldn't get off (I won't say the name of the store, but it is well known). She was almost in tears as she continued to share with me that as she left home, her daughter was in tears and didn't want her to go. This breaks my heart! More employers and shoppers need to hear these kinds of stories. 

I did find an encouraging article discussing an alternative to "Black Friday" called  “Bless Friday” that I'd like to share with you: Bless Friday: Houston Churches Offer Black Friday Alternative. We should all purpose to get on board and do something like this next year on Black Friday. Let's make a statement and start our own movement! Let the enemy know that we are not going to allow him to steal from us the true meaning of THANKSgiving and CHRISTmas! 

5 HELPFUL TIPS AFTER A BREAKUP

Here are my top 5 things I starting doing to help me get through this time in my life. I plan to continue doing them long after I have healed from my breakup, because I want to remain strong for the next situation I encounter (because they will come). They are pretty basic, but if you really take the time to implement them, you WILL see the positive changes in your life that God has for you and that you so desire! 

1.  READ DAILY

 

I like to start my mornings off by spending time with God, reading the Bible, and writing out scripture verses on index cards that relate to what God and I are working on. This is so important if we want to build a strong, healthy relationship with Him and to live in the world today. The more I study His Word, the more I desire to do His Will. I also spend time reading other Christian books, depending on my need that day (I have about five other books I’m reading right now).

Find a time that works with your schedule, but make it a priority to spend time daily doing this. Set aside the amount of time you have available each day (don’t compare what you are doing to what someone else is doing). Some days you may find you have more time than other days. (For example: Is there a TV program you really don’t need to watch and instead, could devote that time to deepening your relationship with God?)

Here are links to some of the books I’ve read or am reading that I think many would find helpful and really impact your life!:

• The Purpose Driven Life What On Earth Am I Here For

• When Women Walk Alone 

•  Commanding Your Morning: Unleash The Power Of God In Your Life

•  The Confident Woman Devotional

• Starting Your Day Right Devotional 

• The 40 Day Soul Fast Your Journey to Authentic Living 

Psalm 5:3 (NIV), “In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice; in the morning I lay my requests before you and wait expectantly.”

Romans 10:17 (ESV), “So faith comes from hearing, and hearing through the word of Christ.”

2.  DAILY POSITIVE SELF-TALK (POSITIVE AFFIRMATIONS)

What we put into our minds goes into our hearts, and comes out of our mouths. You’ve heard the saying, “You are what you eat”, I also believe, "You are what you say you are"…What do you believe and say about yourself? Do you listen to negative words from others and believe them? I did for years! The more I am learning about the value God sees in me and how He created me, I choose speak His truths into my life and my whole attitude is changing! There is power in the words we speak, power to affect our lives in a positive way or in a negative way. It’s our choice.

Most of my life I’ve been a “people pleaser”. I would constantly worry about what others thought of me. I would re-evaluate conversations I’d had with others over and over again in my head, questioning myself and what I did or didn’t say. This is a battle I am still working on, but it is getting better with time as I continue to pour positive words into my life. I have a couple of different “self-talk” lists I read from, but you can create your own. I’ve even done Google searches on “Christian Positive Self Talk” and come up with quite a few ideas. 

One of the lists I use is from a program I recently finished called “Life Skills”. I would recommend this program for most, if not all people. There is something you will be able to apply to improving your life and there are groups meeting all over. Here is the website address if you are interested in finding out more about it: (http://www.lifeskillsintl.org/About_Us.html)

Luke 6:45 (NIV), “The good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and the evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For out of the overflow of his heart his mouth speaks.”

1 Thessalonians 2:4 (NLT), “For we speak as messengers approved by God to be entrusted with the Good News. Our purpose is to please God, not people. He alone examines the motives of our hearts.”

3.  EXERCISE

 

Even if I can only fit 20-30 minutes in a day, I feel so much better after. Exercise is a natural way to boost your mood! It also has many health benefits. Our body is the temple for the Holy Spirit and we should treat it as such. We need to have balance in every area of our lives and this includes taking care of the body God has blessed us with. 

For years I worked out for the wrong reasons. I was trying to “look good” and be “skinny”, while trying to look like the unrealistic photos of women on TV, in magazines, and on billboards (because this was what I had come to believe all men wanted). This not only made me miserable, but caused me to binge and stress eat, hating my body all the more (I will talk more about binge/stress eating in another blog). Unfortunately, society’s view of beauty is becoming more and more unrealistic and more women are becoming unhappy and depressed about the way they look. 

I no longer view my outer body as the world does, but as God does. He wants us to be strong and healthy so we can be effective in our lives and in other’s lives. My body was blessed to carry my wonderful children! When you are strong, you are able to go into battle. When you are weak, the enemy will find your weakness and strike! If you remember, Lucifer was the most beautiful of all of the Angels! So it only makes sense that when he was cast out of Heaven he would use outer beauty the way he has, twisting it into something sinful and destructive. 

Lately, what I’ve decided to do is multitask by using my time to work out and do my positive self-talk at the same time. It is really important that you also speak these words out loud.  You can even record yourself saying them and play it back. 

1 Corinthians 6:19 (NIV), “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own…”

1 Samuel 16:7 (NIV), “But the LORD said to Samuel, "Do not consider his appearance or his height, for I have rejected him. The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart."

4.  EAT RIGHT AND TAKE MY VITAMINS

This goes along with exercise. What we put into our bodies will affect how we feel. If you eat a lot of high fat, high sugar foods, you will feel sluggish, irritable, and gain weight. God created all food for consumption, but we have taken it to a level beyond what it was created for. This does not mean you can’t enjoy food, but enjoy it in moderation and make sure to eat a balanced diet. I’m finding the more I “fill up” on the Word of God, the less I “fill up” on food. 

Matthew 4:4 (NIV), “Jesus answered, "It is written: 'Man does not live on bread alone, but on every word that comes from the mouth of God.'"

1 Corinthians 10:26 (NIV), “for, "The earth is the Lord's, and everything in it."

5.  JOURNAL

Besides starting this blog, I like to journal every night before I go to bed. I write down anything I am thinking and feeling at that moment, also, things that happened during my day that I want to make note of. Start a second journal and write down answered prayers. This will help build your trust in God by reminding yourself of His faithfulness in your life. 

This is your time to “Let it all out!” This journal is between you and God, no one else. This is your “journey”.  

***Remember, it is really important to find a healthy balance in your life and in order to be effective, you have to put in the time and effort to implement these new habits. When one thing gets out of order, it will affect the other areas of your life, it’s only a matter of time. I know, I’ve been there!***

Ephesians 6:10-13 (NIV), "Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand.

Cher-LIFE and live WELL \o/

Cheryll