UNCONDITIONAL LOVE

I’ve never really thought about what it means to love and be loved “unconditionally” until after my recent breakup of a 6 year relationship. My initial thought was, “I wish it was two or three months later, because then I know I will be feeling better!” I knew this, because I’d gone through other painful breakups, and the pain became a little bit less as time passed. I initially wanted to fast-forward my life and bypass all of the pain and heartache that go along with a breakup. 

A couple of days later, as I was doing my 30 day self-talk affirmations list (I’ll talk more about these in another post, I came to the end of the list and recited the words at the bottom as I had many times before, “TIME IS MY FRIEND”. I never thought about these words as deeply as I did at that moment, and it brought me to tears. Here I was wishing my time away! Time that was given to me, time that I could never get back! God has blessed me with this time right now, I should be thankful for it, embrace every moment of it, pain and all, so I can really change (this time) what needs to be changed in me! To become the person I’ve always wanted to be, the person God created me to be. 

I needed to stop focusing on what I thought he (my then boyfriend) needed to change. We were both so focused on what the other person needed to change that it caused internal frustration, bitterness, and unrest for both of us. It got to the point where I really didn’t like how I was acting or who I’d allowed myself to become. No one wants to continually hear about what “we think” is wrong with them. We should build each other up, not tear each other down. For we are all “fearfully and wonderfully made,” (Psalm 139:14). 

I am not writing this to make you or I feel like we should take all of the responsibility for a relationship ending, because a relationship involves two people...But I have found that I do not want to go around the same relationship mountain even one more time, ending in the same spot as the last time! 

(Now that's a pretty big Mountain!)

 
In relationships, unfortunately many of us become selfish and look at all of the things we feel our partner is not doing for us, not giving us, how they are not meeting our needs. Our (humans') definition of love has been turned into a self-centered, self-seeking, kind of love (mind you, this does not relate to all people)...Many go into a relationship looking for what we can get out of it, not what we can give to it (even if we don't recognize this or want to admit it)...We (humans) fail each other because we don't allow the other person to be who they are (who God made them to be), we always want them to be who we want them to be, to try to change them. We set expectations and limitations on each other - many times so high that no one could ever meet them. Only God can change us, and that is only when we are open to it and ask God to help us change...We cannot change anybody but ourselves, and only with God’s help. 

Love is not a "feeling" but many people think that it is, and once they lose that "feeling" they look elsewhere to find it (whether it be seeking money, fame, alcohol, drugs, another relationship, etc.)...Only God can truly fill the empty space we are looking to fill with everything else.

I am in the process of learning what unconditional love really means, Gods' definition of it...I truly believe things WILL get better! We WILL get through this tough time (whatever it is you are going through)! And God has good plans for us! Gods' Word says in Ephesians 3:20 that God can do “immeasurably more than all we can ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us!” Gods' promises are for all of us and He IS at work within us!
 
I want to leave you with a few verses I have been meditating on and I would encourage you to either print them out or write them down on an index card, and recite them daily until you believe what is written. Begin to receive Gods’ unconditional love for you! 

1 Corinthians 13:4-8 - Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.

1 Corinthians 13:7 – Love bears up under anything and everything that comes, is ever ready to believe the best of every person. 

1 John 4:16 – God is love, and he who dwells and continues in love dwells and continues in God, and God dwells and continues in him. (Beautiful verse!)

Psalm 25:10 – All the paths of the Lord are mercy and steadfast love, even truth and faithfulness are they for those who keep His covenant and His testimonies.

Cher-LIFE and live WELL \o/

Cheryll